I’m not sure of the point in your life when you make the switch from being a regular person to being a creative person – if there’s distinctively any such thing as that. It’s like there’s either this complete calmness that comes with it or utter noise. In calmness, you’re suddenly at one with yourself. You can almost hear your heart beat and listen to different parts of you, speak. You watch your soul sit calmly until stirred, within the confines of your humanity. Music is like cold water in a drought. Your emotions are those friends you get to sit with in an AA meeting.
You see the world with new eyes, hear with new ears, and speak with a new voice. Suddenly, the birds chirping in the morning means so much more, swaying trees seem like whistling spiritual beings, you fall in love with wet sand, rain, and the sight of bouncing ocean waves feels like Christmas every time. You just walk around earth’s course, smiling to yourself. Even people seem different. You notice their distinctiveness, regardless of how banal it seems. Eavesdropping and listening to people talk becomes a new form of reality television! You are at one with the universe and you find solace in yourself. You see magic everywhere and it just seems like the perfect way to live.
However, creativity has its dark sides. You feel the hatred of the world ten times more. You get emotional for even the slightest tear-jerker. Those friends – your emotions, may be meaner. Depression, suicidal thoughts… you think of the idea of death and pain a little more than you should. You want to escape from yourself and so you turn to the vices. You get confused. You get lost. You’re not sure who you are anymore. You can’t seem to put it all in place – it’s conflict. Your mind plays games with you and you get paranoid and anxious. You’re not sure what life means and so you get desperate to find it. You try to express yourself and you sometimes find yourself at the edges of insanity. Creativity can be magical, but it can also be one hell of a deadly endeavor. As Kanye put it, ‘Name one genius that ain’t crazy.’